Above Water

I’ve decided to create a place… a place to share my thoughts and feelings not just for me but for you; for them and for anyone who needs to hear this.. 

it’s okay to drown… 

it’s okay as long as you know deep down you will resurface.. 

one day if not today then maybe tomorrow or another day in the distance. 

The distance seems so far but it’s not.. 

just know it’s okay to drown I’m still drowning but I’ve built a safe island for myself and my things and my people that call me mom…and my people who care and still check to make sure I am here. 

I am here and I seem so far away.. from reality and from the truth and from the answers I seek and from wondering why… 

Why me? 

I wonder this quite often.. And I don’t know if I will get that answer but today I think I have resurfaced because after all I am here.. here to share my feelings and my questions and to maybe find my answers or maybe not.. but I have resurfaced and today that is all I need. 

So from one widow to another or from one mom to another or friend, sister, human.. just know that it’s okay to drown and it’s okay to feel like your barely above water so long as you resurface and keep those tiny humans happy and fed and thriving but know it’s okay to not be okay and that one day things might be okay again and that a new normal might come to be.. 

But today just sit and breathe and listen to what feels right and what matters most to you. 

Focus on the good and a purpose that fills your soul and makes a smile appear if only for a short while because that short while might turn into something longer and more substantial. 

I am unsure of purpose and if I have one or many because I think I must have many. One of those is being a mom and another is hopefully this. I hope to leave a place for my thoughts that others can relate and can just be. Maybe that is my purpose. So from one mom and widow to another know that maybe there is a lot to be hopeful and thankful for, even when nothing is sure.